


reflections

by serpetinefire



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-17 03:27:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13650471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serpetinefire/pseuds/serpetinefire
Summary: For the reader's muse who constantly inspires me to go outside my comfort zone. She sent me this prompt: When the farm is overrun Shane survives rocks encounter and they decide to work together so Shane goes to the farm house to help the others Evac. He and Carol are separated from the others and survive together.





	1. Chapter 1

_**For the Reader’s Muse, who is constantly inspiring me to go outside my comfort zone and try something new. There will be a series of one shot chapters covering the various plot points in their journey. There will also be canon appropriate violence.** _

_**She sent me this prompt: When the farm is overrun Shane survives rocks encounter and they decide to work together so Shane goes to the farm house to help the others Evac. He and Carol are separated from the others and survive together.** _

_She had gone by many names since that fateful day at the farm, so had he truth be told._

_Sometimes she was his companion, his wife and a few times in the beginning when they met a woman that caught his eye, his sister._

_None of the stories they told came close to the truth._

The fear he had felt when his lifelong best friend had been shot, the desperation at the hospital.

The horror while watching Atlanta burn.

The CDC a brief haven.

Clinging to the last thing that was familiar, losing his mind.

The confrontation with Rick, his redemption

The slice of a knife across a broken girls wrist, showing them all the truth of the virus, her teeth claiming two more lives before they found her.

The single shot bringing the herd, Rushing with his partner to save the others Hershel’s battle cry as he defended his home.

The chaos and confusion as the group scattered He had seen Andrea go down, still defiant to the very end.

Hershel’s infinite ammo finally running out,

The others getting away,

Rick and Carl 

Daryl

T-dog and Lori

Glenn and Maggie.

He thought he was alone till he heard her voice, the last one he expected to be fighting.

He scooped her up on the run, dragging her behind him Muttering nonsense words to keep her moving.

Days past before they could take a breath, slow for a minute.

She was quiet those first few weeks, quiet but observant.

He thought about every harsh thing he had ever said or done to this woman, how he had belittled her pain and what she could contribute.

She moved like a wraith behind him, reminding him without words everything she had survived.

He was a good cop once, the go to guy to deescalate a situation.

Rick and him had handled many domestic calls, he knew what to say AND what not to say…

He used to be known for his charm with the ladies, having a talent for words.

Knew instinctively that talent would be wasted on her, knew she would see straight through the bull shit.

He did something he practically unheard of… for him. He was honest with her.

Told her everything, the good, the bad, the embarrassing

He shared his hopes and dreams and deepest fears,

Told her about his greatest shame and his biggest failures... as a person, a brother, a friend.

She listened, for hours she listened.

When he was done he felt lighter, free.

Soon it was her turn,

she started out slow

Halting,

Sharing horrific images of how wrong love could go.

Her strength blew him away, so much more to her than even she knew.

Afterwards, they had made plans to find the remnants of their family.

During the winter, she became a damn good shot,

Better with the quieter weapons like the knuckleduster that hung from her belt, but still damn good with a gun.

They had met various groups along the way, never staying more than a day or two.

Long enough for him to scratch and itch and for her to gather supplies and Intel.

During that time, he learned she had a sharp wit and a wicked sense of humor.

She took great joy in reminding him of how during a negotiation that had gone bad, she had saved him with a nail file.

Showed him every day he wasn’t the monster he had feared he was becoming.

She became his closest friend, the person he counted on the most.

He never questioned why she would stop for a flower, her fingers ghosting over the petals before moving on.

Occasionally they would see signs, ones that they prayed would lead them home.

They had found an abandoned house, owl feathers on the floor,

A shattered can of dog food It was temporary stop at best but a much needed one.

A year or so after the farm, they found a prison.

Crosses in the yard, towers and buildings torn down

A shell of the safety it must have once provided.

They moved on, heard a report of a sanctuary.

Wondered whether or not to risk it, hoping they would find some sign of the others.

Creeping around the outskirts, they saw how far humanity could slip.

As one, they systematically took out the inhabitants, letting none live.

They found a girl, eyes glazed, mouth frozen open in a silent scream.

They searched the building, seeing for themselves the depths of depravity they had stumbled upon.

Her sobbed “NO!” brought him up short,

He was afraid to turn, needed to turn.

She was holding a familiar vest and cross bow clutched to her chest.

A hat he knew all too well hanging above.

Glancing around he realized each of these items were a memorial to a survivor lost.

A survivor like them, who fought, who loved.

This wasn’t a supply room, it was a shrine.

“We need…we need to burn this place. Set these souls free”

They left the room, taking only the things she still held close to her heart, a hat and a watch.

He remembered the day he got that watch. How proud he had been to be the barer of that history.

Taking the girl with them, Tara she would eventually tell them they set fire to the compound.

In a secluded spot in the woods, they built their own shrine to those they loved.

No words needed or spoken.

Watching her fingers run the length of the vest before she placed it in the grave, he finally understood .

That last bit of distance she kept between them.

_Weeks passed before she recovered, caring for their newest addition seemed to help._

_Each day her eyes became a bit brighter, her smile became a bit more “real”._

_Winter came again, their numbers had grown._

_Between the two of them, they kept their group safe._

_He heard a knock on his door, saw it slowly open._

_She stood there, her skin glowing in the moon light._

_The seductive upturn of her lips,_

_Her movements graceful, panther like as she crossed to his bed,_

_“I’m ready now..” all she said._

_He lifted the blanket for her, for all his gift of gab, words failed him._

_It was different with her, he was different with her._

_Their lips met for the first time, his hands caressed her flesh._

_All his skill thrown out the window, awed as he was by her beauty and the trust she gave him._

_Laying together, the sweat cooling on their bodies,_

_he held her close._

_He’d never let her go._


	2. After the farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First fill in the blanks one shot for Reflections.

**After the Farm**

**_This is the first instalment of a series of one shots to fill and expand on scenes mentioned in the original story Reflections. As the title suggests, this is after Carol and Shane escape the farm._ **

****

She didn’t cry,

It was one of the first things he noticed, her lack of tears

Several times he had to glance back, make sure she was still with him.

Quiet

God he hated the quiet.

He imagined what it would have been like to have had Lori or Andrea with him.

He didn’t miss the bitching or complaining, but he missed the sounds of another human’s voice.

He guessed she was used to keeping her head down, mouth shut.

That fat bastard of a husband she had had probably beat those lessons into her.

He cringed at the thought of Ed, reminding himself he hadn’t treated her much better.

Belittling her, mocking her pain, acting like the loss of her child didn’t matter

So lost in his own head… Lori, Carl, Rick, unrelenting _FEAR…_

They had slowly made their way back to the highway, hoping…

Hoping to find a sign from their missing family.

All they had seen was the car, message to Sophia smeared and supplies gone.

No idea if anyone had made it that far or where they were going.

He had nudged her to search the cars, gather what they could while he hotwired a car.

A quick nod was all the confirmation he received before she began her search.

He watched her for a few minutes, saw how hyperaware she was.

He took the risk, burying himself under the dash of a Subaru, reluctantly trusting she would have his back.

Less than an hour later, what gas and supplies they could find filling the back, they were one the road.

Directionless, but moving forward.

At least it felt like he was doing _something._

He tried a few times to strike up a conversation with her,

Talked about the weather, their plans,

Hell he tried his old stand by and flirted with her.

Nothing, nada, zip…

They slept in shifts, always one keeping watch.

Walkers weren’t the only danger in their world.

He reached the breaking point, _NEEDING_ to hear her voice.

They were parked under a bridge, one of those rickety ones you would see in the old movies.

Darkness embraced them except for the small pin light he propped up on the dash board.

Dredging up every bit of training, experiences from calls he had responded to, he started talking.

“Carol, we need to talk…”

What he didn’t say was he needed her to talk.

“You know, when I was a kid things came pretty easy for me. Sports, grades, girls, I had it all but…”

He told her about all of it.

_The tutor that took his virginity at 14, starting him on a path_

_The football and wrestling teams, all too easy for him._

_The grades he didn’t need to struggle to maintain._

_Being popular and all the lonelier for it._

_Meeting Rick and finding a friend. One that convinced him to be a cop instead of playing pro ball._

_Standing with Rick when he married Lori,_

_While they waited for Carl to be born_

_Beers and bad food on the weekends with his new family_

_Rushing to Carl’s school to find Lori the day his partner got shot_

_Desperately trying to save Rick at the hospital as the world crashed and burned around them._

_Getting Lori and Carl to safety_

_The mess that came afterwards._

He didn’t leave a single detail out,  praying she would understand.

“That’s it, that’s all there is to me Carol. A man who is afraid of this world but wants to live. Someone that isn’t prepared to live in this world but is gonna try. But I need you to be part of this because I can’t do it alone.”

She was watching him, listening

Something he never had before, not like this

Not someone listening without judging

“I need to say I’m sorry, sorry for all the shit I have said and done to you. Fuck I am sorrier than you know.”

Her voice was hushed, rusty from lack of use.

Nothing like he remembered it.

Whiskey poured over hot grease, cracking and brittle.

She told her story, being alone all her life, living in fear of that loneliness.

Meeting Ed and being blinded by someone being there.

The first time he hit her

First time she lied to the ER nurse.

Sophia

Going to the shelter and then a day and a half going back to him.

The more she talked the stronger her voice grew, the higher her head rose.

“You know, the first real friends I ever had were Lori, Andrea and Daryl. I mean I knew people, but they weren’t friends.  You remember that day you saw me near the water pump? You washed my hands and arms, telling me you were sorry. It may not have meant much to you, maybe a way to purge yourself of your guilt, but it meant a lot to me.”

She pulled him into an easy hug, comforting and familiar,

Her eyes met his, shimmering pools of blue, calling to him.

His hand reached to the back of her head to pull her lips to his, when she jerked her head back.

“Fuck, shit! I’m sorry Carol.” He had no idea what possessed him to try that with her.  _God he was a moron!_

“ Shane, I can be your friend, but that’s all I can be for now.” Her voice calm and clear, a hint of sadness lying underneath.

“I can live with that. Where do we go from here?” wanting to build on this new friendship.

“I want to find our family and I want you to teach me how to shoot.”

 

 


	3. the first winter

**The first winter**

**Second one shot in the Carol Shane series based off Reflections. Chapter 4 will be up this weekend sometime.**

**Thank you for reading.**

Winter came, like it always does.

Howling wind, bitter cold

They had prepped as best they could,

Found shelter in an old cabin in the middle of nowhere,

Good line of sight clearance and the traps she suggested keeping them mostly walker free.

Supplies gathered and rationed,

Water boiled and stored.

A small herd had rolled through at one point,

5 days in a root cellar kept them safe.

They worked on her shooting skills as often as they could, always mindful of ammo.

The little 38 they had found fit her perfectly, better than his “hand canon” as she called it.

He gave a quick thought to the failed lesson with Andrea, made sure he didn’t make that mistake again.

She needed a gentler approach, encouragement

Pulling up every lesson he had learned while teaching the kids _before._

_He started slow, giving her time to and space,_

_Letting her get a feel for the weapon._

_Biting back the urge to tell her to hurry up, hit the target._

_Words of praise easily passing his lips, always mindful of her past_

_Her fear_

_When it was time to teach her to hit a moving target, he made it a game._

_Offering to make dinner, do laundry_

_The thrill he got when she hit the branch and her triumphant smile worth every bit of effort he put into it._

The rifle was a bit much, leaving her shoulder bruised and battered, but she never gave up.

His body bracketing her for support, his jokes about her spindly arms.

He wondered about the damage to her shoulder, but she would just roll her eyes and tell him she had had worse.

Sadly, he knew she had.

When the temps dipped to hell freezing over, they huddled together for warmth.

Nature doing what nature did, it could have been awkward  but she never let it be.

He didn’t push, respected her boundaries, wondered …

Her words from the start “I’m not ready” stayed with him.

She had grown lean during the winter, they both had.

It was a new experience for him, talking to a woman

Being friends with one,

At least with one he wasn’t sleeping with.

She joked about turning off the lights and taking out the garbage.

Told some shitty joke about the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts.

She could cut you to the quick with a single look.

_Who knew mousy little carol had such a dry sense of humor._

He told his fair share of stories, loving it when he made her full on belly laugh.

Winter finally let loose it’s strangle hold and they were able to venture out.

He quickly learned to trust her judgement about people.

The first group they came across, men that  gave her pause.

Rough, dirty with a malicious light in their eye.

He didn’t like the way they looked her, devouring her with their eyes.

Didn’t  like the beaten down way the women acted.

That was the first time he introduced himself as her husband.

She played the part,

Meek, submissive

While sizing them up.

They traded some supplies and made tracks, always keeping an ear out.

They climbed a tree and waited, knowing they got away too easy.

How these assholes had survived so long was beyond him.

Noisy, careless, overly confident.

They watched them bumble through the woods, passing under their tree,

Never once suspecting they were being watched.

A few days later, they came across the same gang,

Now walkers

_Natural selection wins again._

The next group they came across was much different.

A small community of sorts, people banding together for survival.

A tall lanky red head caught his eye, reminding him of how long it had been.

When time came to introduce themselves, Carol led the way.

“And this big lug is my baby brother Shane.”

Freeing him up to scratch his itch.

Afterwards he felt…

Guilt.

They talked about it as they traveled, still searching for their family.

She assured him there was nothing to feel guilty over,  a smile twisting her lips.

Another small group another woman,

She reassured him again,

“Shane you’re a man, as long as she is willing, what’s the problem?”

That was the last time.

The final group they ran across, things with south pretty fast.

The leader wasn’t impressed with the idea of them not staying, saying his boss would love to have them.

Told them about a place that was “safe” and how everyone was welcome, especially people that were surviving as well as they were.

They went to leave and the guns came out.

They had tied him up to a tree telling Carol to sit tight.

While they dug through their back packs, Carol worked her way through the knot, sawing it with the only thing she had been able to hide from them.

 _“Carol, I don’t think a nail file is gonna be much help”_  she muttered under her breath at him.

Knocking out the one guard, they beat a hasty retreat back to their hidden car.

“Ok, Ok… fucking nail file…” he said as she tormented him with the reminder.

Months passed

One stop, they found a hat that looked like Glenn’s.

Another, shell casings matching Rick’s gun

A broken arrow

A familiar looking t shirt.

Little signs, but signs none the less.

The first time he saw something  off with her, was over a flower.

Small white petals a stark contrast to the lush green bush.

He heard her breath catch, saw her fingers tremble as she reached out to it.

Her head bowed, just for a moment, before she pulled herself together.

“What is it?”

“Cherokee Rose…”

He could tell she didn’t want to talk about it, but left the door open anyway.

They found a house to camp out for the night.

Owl feathers on the floor, a shattered can of dog food tossed aside.

He took first watch, leaving her to her thoughts.

The next morning, she was back to herself.

Giving him shit with that smile.

Wandering became the way of life for them, neither willing to stay put in any one place for long.

Summer turned to fall

Fall turned to winter

And they continued to grow closer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Discoveries

**Discoveries**

**4 th in the series of one shots for Reflections. This one is going to be darker because of the subject matter. There will be character deaths mentioned, but not Shane and Carol. There will be mentions of cannibalism.**

**There will be two more chapters to this series after this one.**

 

Spring and summer brought new truths to them.

They saw fewer survivors, many times he wondered if they were the only two people left in the world.

He wondered sometimes if they should give up the hunt for the last of their family, if they should make long term plans, find a place to live.

One conversation with her was enough to keep them looking.

“I don't know if we’ll find them, but I CAN”T not look. Please, can we just look a while longer?”

Her eyes eyes pleading, begging.

They looked in ever widening circles.

It had been months since they saw any signs, still they looked.

During that time, they learned more about each other.

He noticed they didn’t argue or fight, not really.

A few tense evenings, usually because he said or did something stupid.

She loved Mary Tyler Moore and Brady bunch as a child.

Strong women and family.

He was more Dukes of hazard and Night Rider.

He learned she could make a meal out of anything,

She learned he was grateful for whatever she managed to make.

She made life easy, easier than any other person had.

They took turns doing the daily chores, hunting, watch.

She was better than him when it came to setting snares and finding wild veg and berries.

Something that surprised him.

He learned to tell when she was having a nightmare and what it was about by the way her body reacted and the sounds she made.

Shaking limbs and whimpers were always Sophia.

Tense body and silent screams were Ed.

She learned his as well.

Waking to the sound of him crying out Rick’s name, clutching his belly.

Him calling her name, his legs imitating running.

He learned she struggled with killing walker children,

truth be told so did he.

 

 

They found a prison,

Fences down, towers blown to shit.

A tank in the yard.

There were just enough walkers to make them hesitate going closer.

Scanning the yard with the binoculars, they saw remnants of a life,

ragged laundry blowing in the breeze, childish drawings on the walls

crosses in the yard.

Hell had opened up on that former safe haven, they hoped someone survived.

As they walked, they found foot tracks,

Old and faded, but still a sign of humanity.

They came to a set of train tracks,

silently they agreed to follow them for a while, see if it led them to _somewhere_.

When the signs first appeared, they both got a giddy thrill.

Food, showers, shelter.

Sounded like a dream come true.

Thoughts of _MAYBE_ ,

Maybe the others…

They found the “sanctuary”,

TERMINUS in bold white letters across the windows.

Fences and power and a grill cooking...

The smell of cooking meat reminded him of something,

Something dark,

Something _wrong_.

Carol stopped, her body tense.

Their eyes met

They moved off the main road, seeking shelter in the bush.

Slowly they crept up to the fence, taking the high ground.

They watched.

It _looked OK_ , but…

They noticed there weren’t many people,

They counted 12 total.

There were no children, nothing to show this was a large community,

Or a very welcoming one.

Days later and they were still watching, not able to get over the wrongness of the place.

The clanking of a train car door, drew their attention.

Yelling, smoke bombs,a woman’s scream.

Bodies pulled out,

Hands and feet tied

Mouths gagged.

Bodies dragged to building across from them.

They moved closer.

A pile of bones,

Human bones

Gnawing marks

Shane picked one up, felt the texture, the weight of the bone.

Marrow stripped clean.

He had learned enough over the years to recognize when a bone had been boiled.

The familiarity of the smoke smell hit him then,

His first year as a sheriffs deputy,

The smoking shell of a car,

The sickeningly sweet smell of human flesh burning.

Tears in Carol’s eyes,

A steely resolve to end this.

_She KNEW…_

Knew what this place was,

What these people were.

They moved to the back, she took out the sleeping guard while he cut the fence.

Silently they moved through the compound,

one by one eliminating the threat.

Found the slaughter room,

blood stained floor,

the trough,

the bits of a bodieshanging off meat hooks.

_How many lives were lost in this room?_

They kept track, not wanting to miss a single one.

They doubled back, checking the train cars.

The first two were bare, but..

Empty milk carton and food wrappers gave away the sad fact they hadn’t always been.

The last car, the one marked “A” held a single hostage.

A younger woman, dark haired, dirty, terror filled eyes, mouth fixed in a silent scream when they opened the door.

Carol coaxed her out after a time, buying her trust with a loaded gun.

Hiding the girl near the fence, the best they could do..

 

They Searched the main building, found rooms packed with supplies.

Piles and piles of clothes, jewelry, toys, camping gear. Everything you would expect a survivor to have.

A room full of candles, saying on the wall.

“We First… ALWAYS”

It was there they found the last survivor.

The woman babbling something about butchers and cattle as she moved towards a door.

“You lure people here and you take their stuff and kill them?”

“NO! No… not at first. This place? It was a sanctuary, till others came and tried to take it. They raped and murdered over weeks, but we got free and took it back. We heard the message. You’re the butcher or you’re the cattle.”

The woman dove at Carol, tried to take her gun.

Shane felt useless watching them fight, nothing he could do.

Carol got the upper hand and tossed the woman to the side,

a shot.

Even in death, madness shone in her glassy eyed stare.

HE saw a door to the side, the door the woman had been trying to get to.

Carol watched his back as he kicked it open.

Another supply room, one they took their time searching.

He was checking the camping equipment when he heard her gasp a soft heartbroken “NO”

Turning, he saw her fingers tremble as she reached for a crossbow, one that even after all this time seemed familiar.

A vest, _his_ vest dirty wings and all sitting next to it.

She pulled them to her breast, clutching them tight as the tears flowed.

He finally understood that last bit of distance between them, her grief choking him.

Hadn’t realized she was searching for more than just their family, she was searching for someone specific.

The table in front of him held a watch.

Glancing up, he saw the sheriffs hat.

Memories haunted him.

2 year old Carl stealing his daddies hat.

5 year old Carl playing deputy and giving tickets to Shane and the other guys for keeping his daddy at work too long.

Rick walking the station, having come in on his day off, Baby Carl nestled in his arms.

Sitting in the car doing stake outs, sharing stories with his best friend.

This wasn’t a supply room, it was a shrine to the dead.

Her quiet voice called his name, “Shane, we… we have to burn this place. We have to set these souls free.”

Taking only the items they knew, the vest and bow she clung to, the hat, the watch, they went to claim their newest member.

They made their own shrine, one to honor those they lost.

They didn’t speak, arms holding each other as they mourned their family.

Sitting on the top of the hill, they watched the place burn to the ground.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter in the fill in the blank one shots for reflections.

Moving On  
5th fill in the blanks one shot for Reflections.  
There will be one final chapter to this series after this one.  
As always, this is dedicated to the Reader’s muse who encouraged me to go outside my comfort zone and try something new.  
I also want to add a HUGE thank you to my lovely friend whoswhatsitwhich for beta reading and dealing with all my crisis moments. Could not have done this without you!

 

They mourned.  
He mourned the death of who he was.   
Now there was no one alive that knew him from before the world went tits up. No one that shared the life he had, no one he could talk about the “old days” with.   
He wondered if this was how seniors felt, sitting in the nursing home, waiting for friends to roll out of their rooms, friends that had been caught up in deaths final embrace.   
This is what it felt like to be a true blank slate.   
He mourned his friend and partner, his brother.  
He mourned his god son.  
Mostly he mourned for himself.  
He watched her over the next couple of days, worried over her.  
She went through the motions.   
Setting snares, cooking meals, checking on the new kid.  
She was quiet again, her way of dealing with grief.  
Turning it inward, holding it close before burying it.  
How much weight could her shoulders bare?  
Tara, the new girl bounced back quicker. Friendly and talkative she kept the silence at bay.  
One quiet evening, she pulled Shane aside and answered his questions about their family.  
There wasn’t much to tell,  
Rick, Daryl Bob and Glenn had been pulled first, never to return.  
Next went Abe, Eugene, Carl.  
Michonne had died trying to protect the boy.  
When they pulled the last group, they left her for a “special occasion”.  
She also told Shane about Eugene and DC, voice carrying the same doubt and disbelief he felt.  
Two weeks after Tara joined them, Shane had had enough.  
He missed his friend, could not watch her drift away.  
Asking Tara to keep an eye out, Shane followed Carol to the creek.  
He saw her sitting at the edge, feet dipped in the water  
lost in thought.  
She looked up as he sat next to her, a trembling smile on her lips.  
His arm nudged hers as he spoke.  
“You doing OK?”  
“yeah...” her voice a whisper.  
“I didn't know about you and Daryl. I’m sorry.”  
Her lips twisted into a bittersweet upturn, a far away look on her face.  
“It wasn’t like that, not really… not then.”  
“So what was it like?”  
“He was my friend, someone that deserved better. I hope… I hope he found some peace before...”  
He put his arm around her, pulled her to his side.  
“Do you...”  
“Do I what?”  
She took another shuddering breath, tears starting to fall.  
“Do you think he believed me when I told him he was a good man? That he was better than he thought?”  
Shane’s lips pressed to her forehead offering her what comfort he could.  
“Yeah, I think he probably did. You want to go back to camp or stay here a bit?”  
She snuggled closer to him accepting that comfort, “Can we stay here, just a bit?”

They decided to skip DC, choosing to head west instead.   
They had talked about heading to an island or the mountains, but common sense told them others would have tried that too.   
More people meant more danger. More walkers, more assholes, more chances of death.  
Tara suggested going north, heading for Canada or Alaska.   
Shane thought that was a good idea but wanted to circle around the larger cities instead of taking a direct route.  
Meandering through the Midwest, they saw the flashes of fire fight from places like St. Louis, they knew they made the right choice.  
During the next few weeks, Carol, his Carol came back.  
Her eyes brightened, her smile real.  
They came across others, during their travels.   
Some chose to join them, others they shared supplies.  
Life moved on.   
As they neared the Dakota’s, their numbers swelled to 25.  
Tara found a kindred spirit,  
Carol found a shadow in a young boy named Henry.  
They had a rule, anyone that joined had to pull their own weight.  
Be it cooking, hunting, guard duty.  
It didn’t matter, what they did as long as they did something.  
They also rationed and shared food and clothing.  
Summer was quickly coming to an end, the air growing brisk.  
Warning of what was to come.  
After a long search, they found shelter.  
Solar panels, strong fencing around the yard and enough space to hold everyone comfortably.  
Shane and Carol worked tirelessly, organizing and leading runs for supplies to keep them fed and warm.  
No one really knew what they were to each other and they didn’t ask.   
Other groups lived in the area, more established groups that offered trading partners and information.   
Small fights broke out here and there, but were quickly squashed.   
He thought he was going to lose her once to illness.  
For days, he sat with her, bathing her to keep her cool.   
Held her propped up on his chest so so could breathe easier, swallow the bits of broth Tara brought.   
Talking to her, telling her stories.  
Slowly she recovered, teasing him, telling him she didn't realize his naughty nurse fantasies consisted of him being the naughty nurse.  
“I’m not sure you have the legs for the outfit though...”  
“Asshole”   
Winter came again, driving them closer still as they kept their family safe.


	6. Ready

**Ready**

**Here it is, the final chapter in this little adventure of mine.**

**As always, thank you to The reader’s muse for her constant encouragement to broaden myself as a writer.**

**Without her, this story would never have been written.**

**Also a special thank you to my lovely friend Starla, for beta help and virtual hand holding when I needed it.**

 

**This chapter will have hints of smut or at least my version anyway. If you have never read my writing before, just FYI I don’t write graphic smut or give too many details. Mostly its smut light.**

 

**Thank you for reading.**

 

Shane had never been a touchy feely kind of guy, at least he hadn’t been before.

There was something about her though… something that drew him.

She was a tactile person, always touching.

Touching someone to comfort them, to reassure them.

Sharing her warmth with him during the coldest of the winters.

With Henry, her touches were mother like, sharing love and support.

He caught himself a few times, fingers aching to reach out, brush against her arm or her back.

His dreams filled with images of her.

Winter gave way to spring.

They threw themselves into planting, hunting and gathering supplies, always mindful of the next winter.

Everywhere he looked, she was there, touching someone.

He wondered sometimes if she got lonely, if she ever felt the craving for more than those simple touches, or if Ed had diminished that part of her.

It had been a long time since he had known the intimate touch of a woman, not since those first few months they traveled.

He had had offers, thought about taking one of the visiting women up on it,

but he never forgot those feeling of guilt that plagued him.

She would understand, but something else held him back.

He felt different when he was with her, different than he had felt with any other woman in his life.

Lori had been desperation and fear,

Andrea had been a band aid when he felt he needed it, soothing over his feeling of rejection.

The women before, they had just been there.

Maybe it was the fact he had taken the time to get to know her,

that he had learned about her,

that he had shared so much of himself with her.

When he called her his best friend, he meant it.

It was different than what he had with Rick.

There was no competition with her, no need to prove he was better, faster, stronger.

None of the usual bull shit that came up between two male friends.

With her, he could just be who he thought he should be,

She never judged him for his failings or made him feel like he needed to do more, be more.

With her, he could just be “ _Shane”_ , whatever that meant.

 

They worked through the spring and into summer.

Others offering ideas to make them safer.

Spikes and traps for the walkers,

Patrols to canvas the surrounding area in ever widening circles, always on the look out for anyone or anything that could be a threat.

There was a peacefulness to their community, one they did not take for granted.

Shane adjusted to being a leader, Carol as well.

He surprised himself that he didn’t feel threatened or angry when people would approach her about issues instead of him.

She always amazed him, her patience with everyone.

Everything from petty squabbles to wanting more rations to changes in living arrangements, she handled them all with a queenly grace and compassion.

They came to him for security issues and plans for runs.

_If they only knew she was the one he went to for answers._

He may have been the authority in the old world, but she was born to be a leader.

 

He couldn’t pin point when things changed between them.

Small, simple things.

Her smile a bit different, almost wicked at times.

Her touches coming more often and lingering longer.

They spent so much of their time together, it wasn’t uncommon for them to fall asleep on his or her couch, while talking.

Wasn’t uncommon to see them, heads bent together, whispered words flying back and forth.

It wasn’t uncommon to see her hand on his arm or his around her shoulder while they walked.

 _Those things were normal, or at least normal for them_.

He felt different, something lurking just below the surface,

pulling him in.

If she was the tide, he would gladly drown just to feel her embrace.

 

Another day of work,

Another day of those gentle touches,

Another night if dreams that left him panting with want.

Another fear, the fear this wasn’t as real as he thought,

That is was another pipe dream.

Another wish, stolen from someone else.

 

She wished him “Good Night, pleasant dreams” at his door, crossing the way to her own room.

Laying in his lonely bed, he thought of her.

Wondering, wishing, dreaming…

Stripped down to boxers, thin sheet covering him,

his skin still felt over heated, stretched too tight over swollen bones and aching joints.

Almost asleep, drifting closer and closer to the land of dreams, he heard a knock on the door.

How many times had he played out this dream, how many times had he woke up feeling a loss of something that wasn’t his.

The hushed tap tap tap came again.

Shaking himself, he sat up and called out “come in”

She stood in the doorway, back-lit by moon light.

Ethereal

beautiful

A seductive upturn of her lips,

“I’m ready now.” all she said.

He lifted the edge of his blanket, the invitation given.

Graceful and panther like, she crossed the room and slipped into his waiting arms.

Their lips met, hesitant yet eager.

He body sang with each of her touches,

her hands sliding down his shoulders, his arms

crossing over to his chest,

working her way down his abs, stopping at his waist band.

For the first time in his life, he had no words, nothing to say to rush this.

Instead he let his hands and lips speak for him.

Ever mindful of the precious gift he held.

More than her body, it was her trust that he cherished.

He slipped the strap of her gown down her arms, lips dancing across freckles

He took his time, relishing each new inch of her skin.

When the time came, their eyes locked as he joined their bodies.

He choked on the words he wanted to say, needed to say.

In that moment, he knew what his feelings were.

He loved her, loved her in ways he had never loved another.

Their passion soared with each thrust of his hips, each lift of her.

Minutes, hours, days could have passed and it wouldn’t have been long enough.

She drew up like a bow string, nails digging into his back .

Her lips at his ear, setting his locked words free.

“ _I love you.”_

Laying together, the sweat cooling on their bodies,

holding each other close,

his cheek pressed to her breast.

He knew, he’d never let her go.

 

 

 

 


End file.
